Dear Ones,
I was listening to Gil Fronsdal’s talk today about Thich Nhat Hanh, and this prompted me to reflect on what I’m doing with my life, given the magnitude that he has contributed to the world.
This is always an awkward topic, and even when people ask me what I’ve been up to, I tend to give very tactical-level answers because they seem more “relatable.” Writing, business stuff, whatever. Even the non-profit I help run, I usually give a really quick answer in fear of boring people. Or even worse, be too intense and sincere!
Is all this self-censoring necessary? This is MY newsletter!
The truth is, I fear being perceived as egotistical, to think that I can help the world in any way. I mean, to even jump from Thich Nhat Hanh to writing about myself…
But I think that’s what’s wrong with the world these days. The fact that we cannot express our life’s mission without being perceived as weird. At least, if you’re not successful like Thich Nhat Hanh, shut up about it. Of course, no one directly says shut up, but I can sense it when people shrink away from intense topics like examining life’s meaning.
The secondary layer of rejection is the means by which one goes about carrying their life mission. As I’m getting older and my friends are getting older, I’m seeing wholesale rejection of social media, and therefore what one does on it cannot possibly be that wholesome.
I once asked Youheum of Heal Your Living about this—she is a devotee of Thich Nhat Hanh and cleverly shares his teachings under the disguises of a minimalist lifestyle with cottage core esthetics. I asked her, “how do you reconcile the toxicity of social media with your use of it to spread ethical messages?”
She replied that yeah, of course. Most of social media is toxic. But what we can do is contribute positivity to the platform, a drop at a time. We talked about Thich Nhat Hanh. How he is so successful in amplifying his messages because he is savvy in adapting to the times. Parallax Press, the publisher for his books, is a massive powerhouse constantly recycling his writing under different book titles and formats, including being one of the earliest adopters of audiobooks and social media.
He also coined the term “engaged Buddhism” because guess what? Buddhism used to be un-engaged with social issues. Or else he wouldn’t need to coin this term.
So what I’m trying to say is*…I need to be more ok with sharing the real reason why I do the things I do, or else I myself forget why too.
I ultimately want to be be able to live an Engaged Buddhist framework, because I believe it is well thought-out and can relieve the suffering of human beings effectively.
I’m doing it directly through social media, because it’s where people absorb information. In the process of sharing, I get to re-examine whether my understanding is correct or not, and identify my blind spots.
I run the Alliance for Bhikkhunis because it directly contributes to the sustainability of the teachings, and to correct for misogynistic beliefs collected through centuries of Asian culture after the Buddha passed away. That’s the belief that women cannot be monastics and therefore not be eligible for the most devoted path towards enlightenment.
I work on businesses that can contribute towards financial stability for my family, so that I can devote more time and effort towards the first two, and towards practice itself. Without the ability to make time and effort towards formal practice with time for meditation retreats, my understanding remains shallow and what I can contribute also stays shallow.
And the heart of the matter is, it’s awkward to share these things because I’m an imperfect Buddhist! I get mad at lot of things, I don’t get all my work done (including the non-profit stuff), I get anxious and wrestle with my emotions half the time.
So it’s safer for me to talk about being really busy with projects! Then no one will question whether I’m living a Buddhist life or not. Look at Thich Nhat Hanh, he’s getting all this stuff done *and* he has time to mindfully walk very slowly making little lotuses appear under his feet.
But going back to what Gil shared today in his talk, he recited this poem by Thich Nhat Hanh:
This poem reminded me that Thich Nhat Hanh also had to overcome anger (of course at many times a magnitude and well-justified) and that his radiant peace is not something that he just maintains without will power. I can only aspire to practicing what he has taught us, and one thing I can do better now is to be more explicit about what I’m doing and not shy away because of the myriad ways I’m afraid of being judged.
Warm Wishes,
Christin
*If this was a Write of Passage essay, this will be where the introduction starts…